Just think of me & I'll be there...

Chongster? Me? No...

Its has been raining again.. makes me feel like juz lying on my bed. I am getting more bored.. not much progress in finding a job yet.. realising that I have been doing nothing ever since I quit my job. (dats bad..) Hey, wake up!!! Do something!

Had a nuisance call on fri nite when i was abt to slp! But kinda surprised that the idiot knows my name & my private sch! He said i gave him my no in sch days! I dun even noe who the hell he is, Kurt! Who is this toad man & its a private no! Trying to be funny with me! I was pissed off but... I know the more i am angry, the more he happy! So, I cool myself down... this kind of ppl juz simply too idiot, nothing better to do, no1 to befriend him & having mental problem. Hey, I can take legal actions against u idiot if this happens again! Dun fool ard with me! Hate to take private no calls...

Went for ktv & pool on sat. And of course went home after that. I think ppl ard thinks that I am a chongster...when I reach home early, every1 seems to be shocked.. including my mum! Oh gosh, come on... I am NOT a chongster.. even though I have been gg clubbing & chilling out often.. In fact, more to chilling out now. Sometimes, juz wanna let out some fustrations & unhappiness.. then go 4 nite activities. But of course, sometimes juz to catch up with frenz, chit chat.. Please.................... clear that impression of me as a chongster k??? I am a gd girl after all.. heeeehhheeeee..

11/28/2004 04:03:00 PM
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Thinking Through...

Went for interview today. Oh man... insurance co again!!! Went to the same building but different level for interview b4 (also insurance!).. same co with different levels.. bluff me... waste my time gg there and waste my sleeping time! Anyway, bought lunch from the nearby market since havent been eating the food there for quite sometime.

Actually, have been thinking thru these few days. Thnking abt wat??? Almost everything in life. I guess I hold on too much & too long. Cant really face the reality & dats y I am so troubled & bothered. I should look more to the brighter side of life. Ever since I watched the show - The pawnshop no 8 which shown on scv, seems to realise something. Some ppl can sacrifice themselves to pawn away their souls, happiness, health and others to save their love ones. Its a bliss but also tragedy.

Some things in life we cant control but we can definitely control the next path we r taking. We can make our life more lively & happier. In fact, I should feel blissful. I have my family & my frenz to & care for me. So, wats the pro with me man??? Juz only lack of a partner, career & money!!! (Not a big deal...come on...) I juz have to work hard on it, dats all.
But of course, got to have fate & destiny. Its a bliss to have love & love others. Wish me all the best!!!

11/24/2004 02:51:00 PM
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A Normal Progamme Saturday

Went for lunch with ex colleagues at coca restaurant yesterday.. eat till full man... after that went for a walk at taka. They asked me to go to stay with them during the co d&d next mth. But was still thinking whether should i go or not.. think think think..

Suppose to arrange to meet dinner with my fren but that Ting huh.. not feeling well still want to go out for dinner.. ok lor.. me nice nice girl, accompany her to eat at clementi with fen. That fen.. really huh.. cannot finish the food still order 2 plates!! aiyoh.. GIRL! I didnt had dinner, juz ordered sugarcane drink cos still feel full after the lunch. After dinner, we took a bus down to west mall for a movie. Those ppl rushed for the bus as though that was the last bus!! & i haf to let those ppl to board the bus b4 me!! Singaporeans ar.. kiasu like hell!! Anyway, we watched the thai horror movie called Shutter. Guess who chose the show??? of course that fen la.. she & ting always like to chose horror movie to watch with me!!! This time, we didnt buy any popcorns.. not onli we r not hungry but also scared that "history" repeat again!! ahahaaa... afterall, the show is ok.. abit scary than those last few scary movies i have watched. My frenz called to ask me to go down to the pub at UE sq again. So, did i go?? no... gd gd girl.. went hm together with the 2 girls after the show.

Dats hw i spend my sat for this week..

11/21/2004 04:39:00 PM
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Happy Birthday My Dear Frenz

As usual, didnt do much... getting my music stuffs to store inside my pc. Heard the news yesterday abt the price to Perth has discounted. Too bad.. cant go over there at this time. (Hoping & wishing to go there again..)

Today is a special day for my 2 frenz cos its their BIRTHDAY! my fren in Perth to wish her . She is studying over there now & poor her... exams only start next week when alot of people having holidays now..All the best of luck to u! She told me she went to do piercing (3 each for ears & 1 at the belly!) 2day for her birthday & i told her should make it 20!! (cos she is 20 yrs as 2day.. ahahaaa...) Havent been really chatting with her & another fren for sometime. They r both frm Jap. One of them actually gg back for holiday soon but not the bday girl.. Poor her again! She will be alone for quite sometime...

Before I end my blog 2day...

, Akika!

, Suma!

May both of you have all the blessings, happiness, good health & youth!!!

11/19/2004 09:52:00 PM
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Nothing Much For The Day

Didnt really do much yesterday.. spend the whole day at hm. Doing housework, watching tv, facing the pc & wall. Gd girl isnt it? Was having noodles for dinner, nice... my mum cooked nice noodles.. plus I help to cook also!! More soda-licious ! Think you ppl should try my cooking next time!!

Well, as for 2day... went down to town for a while. Recently has been raining esp in the afternoon.. was pouring heavily when i was outside.

Manage to get a bag but not clothes.. Oh gosh! I have forgotten to get a gift for my overseas fren!!! Cant make it on time to give it to her liao.. oops... er.. i think its better for me to call her & wish her! More sincere.. it the thoughts that counts..

Was with mum later in the afternoon to get some toileties and happened to see my 2 ex-colleagues. Kinda have a 'missing them' feeling suddenly.. didnt see them for quite sometime.. Well, gg to meet them up this sat! Nice.. But... i was bad... totally forgotten that I have a appointment with them which is planned earlier & i even asked 1 of them to go out! oops.. alright alright.. i must admit i have a poor memory. Really have to record down all my appointments!

11/17/2004 06:46:00 PM
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Tiring Holiday

Hw's the weekend, ppl??? Well, quite enjoy my weekends. Been to the usual pub at UE sq on sat nite with frenz. Didnt had dinner at hm or outside but having it at the pub which my fren bought for me. First time ever that I had my dinner at the pub! But I am getting sick of that pub.. esp the boss & the boss's gf frenz! ( & the boss actually married already! gosh! guys guys guys... ) Have been gg there often with frenz since I think ard 2 mths back. Start to know the ppl working there & the band. But the band is having their last day today... think wont be gg there often after that. Was still thinking if I should be gg today for the last day of the live band. ( Been gg chilling out almost every week & I have been trained to be a gd drinker now!! ahahaaaa.. but my ' old sickness ' is coming back to see me again! ) Anyway, we left the pub early on sat nite..

Hw abt my sun's prog? Well, I woke up late, didnt had my breakfast & lunch. Went to meet frenz for dinner & movies at cineleisure. Seems that my appetite has been getting bad for these few mths. I was being named 'big eater' in the past! The movie was fine.. didnt really get the meaning of the movie till it shown almost the middle part. Name of the movie? - FORGOTTEN ( dun be mistaken that i forgot the movie's name. It is really called the FORGOTTEN ) Had a few freaking shocked during this movie! Luckily, we didnt buy popcorns..if not like the fen again!! Poured over the floor and ting's bag during we watched movie the other time! ( trying to acbc-Act cute buay cute! asbs-act smart buay smart! SEE, Freebie Fen!! Its all yr fault! making me getting the 'phobia' of having popcorns during movie! )

After which, suppose to went down to my usual clubbing place, DEVILS. havent been there for quite sometime... been into chilling out than clubbing nowadays.. however, my frenz decided to go to zouk but i didnt go.. cos 1 of my frenz dun go for clubbing. In the end, we decided to try out 1 of the pub in the amara hotel. I met up with another fren first to go. And wat the h***!! When I reached there, the pub was closed for that day!! Oh man... wasted my trip.. cant really made up our mind to go where.. & then, decided to try out another pub which my fren said. From tanjong pagar, we walked till maxwell, till ann siang hill, till club st but still didnt manage to find the exact location of the pub which is at the duxton hill! I am already tired.. thirsty... & its already 11 pm! Been walking for 1/2 hr! We actually spotted a new bar & cafe along the tanjong pagar.. it looks as though its another new clubbing spot.. got the urge to go in at that time!! hehehee... well, another of my fren has reached & we started to look for that pub again.. in the end..... the pub is closed for that day also!!! really wat the h***! Finally, we settled down at one of the pubs nearby.. drink, play pool & sing... initally, juz wanted to stay there for a while then shift to another pub ( another pub which i usually go.. winsland house there ) but... we decided to stay cos the drinks are cheaper! Reached there not long, got police to come & spot check!! ahahaaa... wat a concidence huh!! The pub was supposed to close ard 2 - 2.30... but we stayed till 3..

Sent one of my fren back cos he got to worked 2day! So, me & the other fren went down to devils for a while. My fren was asking me to go chinablack cos his fren vip, free entry.. well.. i think i prefer DEVILS! And wat the h*** again! My fren ordered volka lime and its really volka LIME!! Can only taste the LIME!! Soooooooo sour! We only stayed for a while.. left ard 4 plus.. both of us were tired liao.. went hm after that... had a slight ' old sickness ' when i woke up 2day. I think i have to stop drinking for a while.. its bad to drink every week.

Oh.. juz before I end this blog for the day... Happy birthday, Mr Daniel!! Poor u.. got to work 2day even its a P.H..

11/15/2004 02:10:00 PM
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Another Boring Saturday...

Didnt do much today...Suppose to have 2 dates 2day but was cancelled last min.. ( i am dread of last min thing.. ) My lower back was in pain since yesterday nite.. on & off..seems that my body start to rust already. Well.. still manage to do something. Was spending the whole afternoon doing some changes to my blog. I believe its better than the usual one.

Rains again... hopefully, I can go out later. Can't stand to spend my sat staying at home staring at the pc & the walls! Gosh! Plus...getting to do the links and the background music drives me nuts!!! Can't seem to work properly! S***!

Just saw the ad on friendster about my sec sch npcc annual campfire which is held on the next mth... but, not sure if its true. Hopefully... cos I wish to go for campfire again! Coolz..

Alright.. shall stop here.. enjoy yr weekends, ppl!

11/13/2004 05:53:00 PM
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A Very Low Morale Of Me

Was wondering if I should start this blog.. ( actually wanted to start long time ago but too lazy.. And of course, I have decided to write my blog. I guess this will be a long essay as I will summaries the things that happen this year.

It wasn't a smooth year for me. Whether its family, friends, work or love. It seems that everything was in a mess and it keeps coming one another. Lets start with work then.

Quit my 1st full-time job which is more than 3 years there, join a new trade but no prospects and the boss just sucks, quit again. Back to the same usual trade but quit again. Till now... jobless! Can't really find what kind of industry that suits me... or I should say I suit them. They say the jobless rate has dropped but in the other hand, the turnover rate has rised too. And it doesn't make any difference thou. Went for interviews.. either no response or it doesn't suits me. So, what exactly I should look into a job?????????????? Anyone can tell me????????????????

Family...alot of things happen in my family and my close relatives. My dad has quit his job and looking for jobs around too. But, of his age, how can he really work like last time??? His temper getting bad... start to drink and drink... and quarrel over this with my mum. His blood pressure went high once and have to be sent to hospital. At that time, he has been good.. stop drinking.. but then... after not long, he starts again. There comes with my mum naggings and their quarrels... I don't really communicate well with my dad.. sometimes, I don't know what I can do for them. I throw my temper to them sometimes... when I was in bad mood... I am not a filial daughter to them... always make them angry and sad.. luckily, they still have a son, my elder brother.. who is more filial, sensible.. at least without me, my parents still can pin hopes on him. My uncle's son... they actually have business in malaysia but it was a failure after yrs there. Start to have financial problems, got to sell their business... and my uncle's son, he has been a boss of his own for long and got to work for people now which makes him very hot-tempered even before last time. He and his wife were also on the verge of divorce. His wife doesn't want to let his son to study in sin and wanted to withdraw him as a singapore citizen. Of course, all of us do not agree with her. I seldom see them.. only once in a blue moon... his son is a very sensible child.. he look after his sister well even though he is juz less than 10 years old. I believe they should feel proud of having a good son like him. My uncles and aunties were worried about them as it will affect the kids if they are to divorce. But in the end, after all those quarrels and everything, they are still together now. His wife just give birth to another baby girl few months back. Frankly speaking, I don't like his wife (malaysian), give lots of problems and attitude! What the h***! My 3rd bro in law (actually its my uncle's daughter husband, but my family are close to my uncle side, dats y call him bro in law), his business was a failure too. In the end, he got to work for people. Somehow, he got some unknown virus while he was working. At first, still not that serious. But as the time goes by, his condition get worst. He has breathing difficulty, legs swollen like an elephant and his face was getting thinner and thinner. He stayed in hosital for nearly 2 months and the doctors still can't find the real medicine to his virus. They just keep changing ang changing the medicine for him till he can't really eat and vomitted. All of us was at a loss. In the end, we hire a chinese physicanand together with the western medicine, he gets better. They said his heart got problem but now under control. He was discharged after that However, he was being sent to hospital again recently as he got another relapse again at home. Now they have confirmed that his heart is getting worst. He got to change a heart!!!OMG! They have put him in a waiting list for 2 years! During this while till he got a suitable heart, he has to stay in hospital! We were all shocked when we hear this... but, what else can we do now? Only our support to him. How I wish I can earn more money to help them to tide over this crucial period.

Love.. despite all this things happen, I still believe in finding my love, my true love. However, it seems to be an obstacle to me as well. Is love so hard? What is love? Someone I like, doesn't likes me. Either he likes other girls or he has a gf. What is so hard to get someone you love to love you? What is missing in me which makes me the loser always? The looks? The character? The height? The weight? Whats more to come? Love hurts... really... I am really envy my friends who have found their love.. cos it always take 2 hands to clap to be together. I do not wish to elaborate much here cos it will be a very long long essay. People out there, you MUST treasure your love. For guys especially, do not lie to your gf. Be honest, be true to them. We only live once and we only love once with the right person.

Friends...well... what more should I say??? After what I have written for the above. I have always been hard and facing difficulties on relationships. Whether its BGR or friends. Some people say I am too stubborn, emotional... when I am in any relationships, I will be down right deep to it. Last time, I always hope to get back of what I give people. But I know its impossible. Do not ask for return when you give. And when you give, give it your best. So, when I give it my best, do anyone appreciate me? Ans : NO In what way, have I done wrong? In what way have I lack? Why am I always the one who lose out? WHY??? I guess in this world, it is just too unfair. I am born to suffer all the pains here! Sometimes I would just cried out & even thought of leavin
g this world.. but, you must have the courage to leave this world. Luckily, I don't have. If not, I wouldn't be here writing this blog... I do not have the courage to survive and to leave... HOW????????

I do not know where to go, who to turn to, what to do next... any saviour out there??? I have to apologise for my long long blog...

11/12/2004 04:46:00 AM
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